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Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Depressed? No Way!

Yes it is true.  Mr. Cheerful, got down and depressed.  Unbelievable right? That is unless you know that I have been taking antidepressants for many many years.  I'm doing great now due to an adjustment of my meds. I know I have a good reason to be depressed.  After all, I have a disease that is killing me.

Right?

Wrong!

I have no business being depressed because I know my mental self really well.  I have been successfully medicated to take care of chronic depression.  Depression that happens because of an event - situational depression - is something we all deal with unless our permanent address is Disneyland, Anaheim, California, USA.  Even then, that mouse can really bug you.  I'm no different, but when I get stuck in a slump, I know what to do to climb out of it.

I figure that there are a couple of triggers that brought me to the edge.

First, it has been a hard year for our ALS Support Group.  We started attending support group meeting eighteen months ago.  We got to know a lot of really nice people.  We met every month, sharing our experiences and discussing specific topics that help an ALS patient cope.  Since early fall we started losing members.  It didn't slow down through the holidays and beyond.  In fact, in the last two weeks, we have lost two members of our group.  A third patient who didn't participate in our group also died.  That adds up to 12 souls since October. Anyone who joins a group of terminally ill people better be ready to see a lot of people pass on.  I was dealing with all of this really well until one of my friends died on December 21st.  This guy's ALS progressed just like mine.  When we met his speech was slurred like mine.  When I had foot drop, he had foot drop.  When I got my feeding tube, he did too.  When I needed my iPad to speak he got a similar device to speak for him.    Each time we met, we would compare notes.  It really got to me when he died.  We were like ALS brothers.  All but three or four members of our original group are gone.  Of course they have been replaced with new people, but it isn't the same.

Second, I developed a yucky problem.  I would feel like I had something in my lungs that I needed to cough out.  No matter how hard I tried to dislodge it, the stuff wouldn't come out until it was ready.  Not even the cough assist machine would help. Then, without warning, the thing would break loose and block my airway.  Of course, it plugged my airway when I was exhaling so it was hard for me to inhale.  It was really scary to struggle to get that gunk either coughed up or swallowed.  This went on for two or three weeks, several times each day.  Every day I nervously anticipated this. After a couple of weeks I thought this was my new normal, which knocked me down a peg or two.  Then just as suddenly as it started, it went away, and gratefully, I haven't had a recurrance since.

So - Happy days are here again.  No weird choking.  I still feel bad about losing our ALS friends, but that is different than being depressed.

We had an amazing Christmas and a remarkable Valentines day.  And, the last couple of weeks have been entertaining.  I'll write about that soon.  A good part of it will be written by Gerri'.

9 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry you've lost some of your friends. I also love how you manage to find a way to be positive and look on the bright side! You are my hero!

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  2. Wow. Kevin it's so hard to know what to say. Thank you for sharing your insight and feelings both you and Gerri have deeply touched my life. Love, Debbie

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  3. You are a knight. A super hero. I love how you help others to get back to life an feel blessed for what they have. Thanks a lot for been a great example for me.

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  4. Love you, Kevin. So glad to read an update from you here.

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  5. Hi Kevin- In my attempts to reconnect with you, I found my way here. I remember in the summer of 1997 telling you I viewed you as a hero. You were then, you are now and you always will be. John Lloyd jlloyd@speakeasy.net

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  6. Stay positive Kevin. It looks like you had a great Easter. Do you and Joey still kick out some acoustic jams? God bless good man and say hi to your better half and Lindsday on my behalf.

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  7. I Am Jessica, I want to quickly write on a Powerful herbal cure doctor, who is well known around the world for his cures and help to humanity, This man helped me when i had the Lou Gehrig’s Disease ( ALS ). i and my family tried all possible best some few years back to get a cure for my dying husband who was also an ALS victim, but all our efforts came to nothing on a Friday night when we lost him to death. The same virus came on me some 3 months after the death of my husband, i tried all i could untill i came in contact with DR Camala in 14-6-2014. I went to collect my weekly treatment on the hospital which Dr Camala was invited to inspect some patients, i was upportuned to be inspected by him on his own free will. After the inspection, he gave me his Emails:( dr.camalahivaidscure@yahoo.com ) and his mobile number and ask my eldest son to help me get to him which we really did. We emailed him and he got back to us, in just 3 days of negotiations he sent me some herbal cure medicine and instructed me on how to take them. i remember taken the medicine for just 2 weeks, then i started receiving results. I am happy to say now that for the pass 1 year i have had no symptoms of the sickness and i have been totally and finally cured of ALS with no trace of the virus in my body ( laboratory scan and medical doctors checkup has reveled so) Am so happy and i want to thank Dr Camala for his help on me. i want whoever that is also with this virus to get the quickest and most assured cure immediately through the help of Dr.Camala on
    dr.camalahivaidscure@yahoo.com or call him +2349055637784.

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  8. As a sign of gratitude for how my husband was saved from ALS, i decided to reach out to those still suffering from this.
    My husband was diagnosed of ALS in 2013 and it was really tough and heartbreaking for me because he was my all and the symptoms were terrible, he always have trouble swallowing , and he always complain of Weakness of the body . we tried various therapies prescribed by our neurologist but none could cure him. I searched for a cure and i saw a testimony by someone who was cured and so many other with similar body problem, and he left the contact of the doctor who had the cure to ALS. I never imagined ALS has a natural cure not until i contacted him and he assured me my husband will be fine. I got the herbal medication he recommended and my husband used it and in one months he was fully okay even up till this moment he is so full of life. ALS has a cure and it is a herbal cure contact the doctor for more info on drwilliams098675@gmail.com on how to get the medication. Thanks for reading my testimony.

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  9. I am Karen from Canada, I once suffered from a terrible and Chronic ALS,for more than 23 years , the doctor told me there was no permanent cure i was given medications to slow down its progress, i constantly felt my health was deteriorating as i constantly had muscle weakness and difficulty speaking ,this ailment was really terrible especially when am going out with my friends, i have this constant disorder for about 23 years, this was really a terrible ailment ,on thin one day that i was going through the internet,and i came across a post of Mrs kate on how her husband was been cured from als through the help of Dr Williams herbal product, I contacted this herbal doctor via his email and explain everything to him and make purchase of his product,few days later he sent me the herbal medicine through courier service, when i received the herbal medicine, i used it as prescribed by dr williams and i was totally cured within those week of usage,on thin now i have not experience any sign or characteristics again . for more information you can email him on drwilliams098675@gmail.com for help

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